Dr. Guff's Original
Turd Polish:
Our flagship product... Does your neighbor have an old car, boat, motorcycle, sitting in their yard, or driveway? Do you work with somebody who is constantly coming up with useless, or disastrous ideas? Then you need this product.

Dr. Guff's
Pretty Pig Lipstick:
"Put some lipstick on that PIG!" They’ll squeal louder than Ned Beatty when they get this product. It’ll make you look as fine as a swine!

Anti-Swamp Ass Powder:
Spend a lot of time outdoors in the heat? Working under a piece of equipment all day?
Anyone who has ever been inflicted with a case of Swamp Ass will appreciate the effectiveness and necessity of this tremendous product. Also prevents "Swalls"